Friday, October 06, 2006


MSNBC brings us the news this morning of some incredibly valuable new research:

“Marijuana may help stave off Alzheimer’s”

Now, if only they can remember where they put the study…

From the article…

“New research shows that the active ingredient in marijuana may prevent the progression of the disease by preserving levels of an important neurotransmitter that allows the brain to function.

Researchers at the Scripps Research Institute in California found that marijuana’s active ingredient, delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol, or THC, can prevent the neurotransmitter acetylcholine from breaking down more effectively than commercially marketed drugs.

THC is also more effective at blocking clumps of protein that can inhibit memory and cognition in Alzheimer’s patients, the researchers reported in the journal Molecular Pharmaceutics.”

The article notes “Those afflicted with Alzheimer’s suffer from memory loss, impaired decision-making, and diminished language and movement skills.”

I think you see where I’m going with this. There is a National Alzheimer’s emergency, an epidemic that threatens America itself… And now we can combat it!

We need to get a whole bunch of this stuff – all the hempsters could contribute a week’s worth of stash, maybe – and we need to get it to Washington DC ASAP. We need to fill the ventilation systems of all of the Congressional, Administrative, and Judicial offices, and then set it off all at once.

We can let them out after about a week to see if they are better. Meanwhile we’ll just send in Doritos, burritos, pizza and beer…

It’ll be for their own good… They will thank us later…

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