Thursday, November 02, 2006

CHARTING ABSURDITY

FoxNews brought us the story yesterday that the Pentagon is “looking into” who leaked the latest OMIGOD ABSOLUTELY TOP SECRET THE TROOPS ARE ALL GOING TO DIE NOW document to the dastardly COMMIE TERRORIST BIN LADEN SUPPORTERS at the New York Times:

Sorry… Channeling the RNC there…

“Pentagon Looking Into Leak of Classified Intel to New York Times”

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,226832,00.html

The report claims the Pentagon is now trying to determine whether or not leaking the classified information was illegal…

To view the earth-shattering POTENTIALLY ILLEGALLY ACQUIRED PowerPoint, descend into the ENEMIES LAIR:

More RNC…

“Military Charts Movement of Conflict in Iraq Toward Chaos”

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/11/01/world/middleeast/01military.html?_r=2&oref=slogin&oref=slogin

The chart is, of course, very simple… It was, after all, intended for the highest ranks of the American military…

OOPS! Channeling Kerry…

It shows a horizontal bar, green on the left and red on the right… Right side, bleeding to death blood red… Got that straight…

The left is peace – the right chaos… This PowerPointer had a pretty good grasp of the obvious…

There are a series of dated position markers, moving forward toward right-wing chaos…

Damn! More Kerry…

There are a few bullet points… Short & simple… Tailored to the audience…

Did it again…

But I think it could have been improved. The chart should be vertical – red end up – and it needs to be interactive. Make it ten feet tall, put a carnival kicker at the bottom and a bell at the top… Give the high-heeled boys a mallet made out of Don Rumsfeld’s head and make whoever rings the chaos bell Secretary of Defense…

OOPS! I mean “a mallet made out of a rock shaped like Don Rumsfeld’s head”… Hey… If Kerry can drop a few words, so can I…

Not that you could tell the difference between a rock and…

Ta Dum, Bum!

Anybody disgusted yet? With such a smorgasbord, I don’t know where to start… At the beginning, I guess…

Why is this secret? Does anyone really not know this? Let’s see… There are those in a coma… The addled in their nursing homes… The residents of 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue… The whole rest of the fucking country knows Iraq sliding into chaos – and we didn’t even need a sliding bar graph to figure it out…

But then, we aren’t generals leading the army… OUT OF MY HEAD, KERRY!

As for the so-called enemy in Iraq… They knew it before anyone…

Our government has become paranoid – and that’s a psychotic condition.

But why did the Times leak this?

Now, I’m all for patriots who leak things our government is hiding from us we need to know. Secret, illegal prisons, illegal surveillance programs? Bravo leakers!

But why this?

As noted, everyone already knows Iraq is going to hell in a bucket. Most of us suspect even the high-heeled boys know it. What purpose did this leak serve?

It served the purpose of proving they could do it. It’s just their way of flipping the bird at Don & his buddies.

A purpose every bit as rational as the urge to classify everything right down to the toilet paper the Pentagon suffers from…

Ta dum bum…

Oh where is that asteroid now when we really need it?

Comments:
So you support vigilantes? Well that's what leaking is. A person appoints themselves judge and jury, "this is wrong, this is illegal". They then leak it. Problem is, what if it not wrong or illegal? Kind of like what if vigilantes have the wrong guy? One then becomes treason, the other murder.

Anyway, since you do support leakers I assume you are firmly in support of the "oh my gosh Valerie Plame, secret desk jockey, is married to Joe Wilson" revelation. I mean that did help blow his cover on the phony Niger report and aided somewhat in proving him a liar.
 
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